I am re-posting this blog entry from Jan 2009 for a few reasons. First, I was reminded of Josiah Conder’s hymn today, ‘Tis Not That I Did Choose Thee’, by my Aunt Emma who sent a copy of this hymn to my mom. Also, this post helps bring understanding to what I have come to believe and cherish from God’s word regarding His sovereign grace to me. This came about nearly five years ago as God brought me to repentance and complete trust in Him through His precious Word. I repost with hopes that it might help some who would like to understand me better with regard to what I believe and why. C.H. Spurgeon’s comment, “I have my own private opinion that there is no such thing as preaching Christ and Him crucified unless we preach what is nowadays called Calvinism. It is a nickname to call it Calvinism; Calvinism is the Gospel and nothing else….” will hopefully address the reality of the word ‘calvinism’ as nothing more than a label or nickname; it is not supposed to be taken up as a ‘weapon’ or ‘divisive wedge’ for the purposes of those who embrace it or those who would resist it.
This testimony, written in 1858, was written of me. No single change of word would make it any more or any less mine…
I must confess I never would have been saved if I could have helped it. As long as I could, I rebelled and revolted and struggled against God. When he would have me pray, I would not pray. When he would have me listen to the sound of the ministry, I would not. And when I heard, and the tear rolled down my cheek, I wiped it away and defied him to melt my heart. Then he gave me the effectual blow of grace, and there was no resisting that irresistible effort. It conquered my depraved will and made me bow myself before the sceptre of his grace.
And so it is in every case. Man revolts against his Saviour, but where God determines to save, save he will. God never was thwarted yet in any one of his purposes. Man does resist with all his might, but all the might of man, tremendous though it be for sin, is not equal to the majestic might of the Most High.–Charles Haddon Spurgeon (1834-1892)_New Park Street Pulpit_ Vol. 4 
The following hymn is captured in the video below and was brought to my attention by a faithful brother in Christ who encourages me often with the postings I find on his blog, Truth Matters. (a hymn adapted from Josiah Conder, 1836)
My Lord, I did not choose You,
For that could never be;
My heart would still refuse You,
Had You not chosen me.
You took the sin that stained me,
You cleansed me, made me new;
Of old You have ordained me,
That I should live in You.
Unless Your grace had called me
And taught my op’ning mind,
The world would have enthralled me,
To heav’nly glories blind.
My heart knows none above You;
For Your rich grace I thirst;
I know that if I love You,
You must have loved me first.
Ah! the bridge of grace will bear your weight, brother. Thousands of big sinners have gone across that bridge, yea, tens of thousands have gone over it. I can hear their trampings now as they traverse the great arches of the bridge of salvation. They come by their thousands, by their myriads; e’er since the day when Christ first entered into His glory, they come, and yet never a stone has sprung in that mighty bridge. Some have been the chief of sinners, and some have come at the very last of their days, but the arch has never yielded beneath their weight. I will go with them trusting to the same support; it will bear me over as it has borne them.– C.H. Spurgeon
I have my own private opinion that there is no such thing as preaching Christ and Him crucified unless we preach what is nowadays called Calvinism. It is a nickname to call it Calvinism; Calvinism is the Gospel and nothing else. I do not believe we can preach the Gospel…unless we preach the sovereignty of God in his dispensation of grace; nor unless we exalt the electing, unchangeable, eternal, immutable, conquering love of Jehovah. Nor do I think we can preach the Gospel unless we base it upon the special and particular redemption of his elect and chosen people which Christ wrought out upon the cross; nor can I comprehend the Gospel which allows saints to fall away after they are called. Charles H. Spurgeon
I do not come into this pulpit hoping that perhaps somebody will of his own free will return to Christ. My hope lies in another quarter. I hope that my Master will lay hold of some of them and say, “You are mine, and you shall be mine. I claim you for myself.” My hope arises from the freeness of grace, and not from the freedom of the will. Charles Haddon Spurgeon